Eponine Thenardier and the Revolutionary's Stone
by FireCube
Summary: What if Eponine Thenardier were the "Girl-who-lived"? Les Miserables clashes with Harry Potter in the realm of Harry Potter, only without Harry Potter himself.


The residence at 50 Montfermeil Drive was a faded red color, like the petals of a dying rose. The newly painted black windows clashed with the paling house, and the angelically white garage doors appeared as if they had been washed the day before. In front of the house sat a silvery-blue BMW i8 and a crimson red Mercedes S600. Despite sticking out like a sore thumb, the house belonged to some of the most "normal" people around. At least the Thenardiers liked to think of themselves as a very normal family, thank you very much. They lived in a (supposedly) normal house, on a normal street, in a normal city, in the grand state of California. The street was usually quiet, save for a few obnoxious neighbors.

The yellow house to the left was inhabited by a man and his daughter, or so the Thenardiers assumed. Usually, the Thenardiers didn't care much about anyone besides themselves, unless it came to comparing wealth or appearances. Naturally, they compared themselves to the people who surrounded them on a daily basis, their neighbors.

They had heard that their neighbors to the left, at 52 Montfermeil Drive, consisted of someone by the name of "Jean-pants" and his daughter "Colette", or something vaguely along those lines. The Thenardiers had often seen "Jean-pants" and "Colette" leave in an old, beaten-up Dodge Taurus. They often sneered at the mediocre car and the assumedly poor living conditions that the pair lived with. Frequently eying the sub-par car, the badly paved driveway, and the dead grass that infested the pair's lawn, the Thenardiers scoffed, obviously feeling superior.

Achan Thenardier was by no means an extraordinary man. He was stick-thin, and extremely weak. He stood at a mere five-foot seven inches, short for the average man, and often stood next to people who made him seem even shorter. His salt and pepper hair sat wildly on his head, and his abnormally large squash-like nose contrasted sharply with his beady eyes. He was often seen standing on his toes, sticking his irregularly large nose in other people's business. His general mode of transportation was either one of his luxury cars, but when he was forced to move on his own two feet, he strutted around, as if he owned the world. In his eyes, of course, the world was his. Head of a small, but respected investment bank, Achan usually wore a crisp navy-blue suit and donned a two-toned silver and gold Rolex watch on his left wrist. Though not nearly as rich as Bill Gates or Warren Buffet, Achan still had a respectable amount of money to his name, and he was not afraid to show it, often spending his money lavishly.

Despite being a rich and powerful (though vacuous toward his anterior-most region), Achan was married to a woman who did not fit the stereotypical "wife of a wealthy man" image. Cressida Thenardier (nee Vermon) was the spitting image of a woman who had probably once been beautiful, but was ruined by a surplus of food and an excessive interest in money. Her daily intake of food surpassed that of most human beings, and years of such intake had taken a toll on her body. Hundreds upon hundreds of Big Macs, Twinkies and Mars Bars yielded a staggering triple chin that jiggled slightly as Cressida walked, or rather waddled, around. Her large figure was almost twice as wide as her husband's and her monstrous five foot ten frame often shadowed others around her. Each jet-black serpentine curl upon her head danced around her as she walked, making her look like Medusa. Some people actually froze when they saw her ugly face. A large mole sat of the right side of her nose while the left side glistened with oil. Ignorant of all her flaws, Cressida Thenardier was a make-up enthusiast. In a sense, she was more of a dilettante as she clearly knew nothing about makeup. The bright pink lipstick clashed horribly with her pale face while her red eye shadow made her seem like she hadn't slept for thirty-six hours. Seeing Cressida walk alongside Achan, her husband, was like seeing a plump Barbie doll walking her dog. The pair, self-denoted as "normal", were about as normal as clowns at a business meeting.

The Thenardiers had two kids. The older one was a boy, named Gavin, soon to be twelve years old. The younger one was a girl, named Eponine, soon to be eleven years old. Having two kids was by no means unusual, but for the Thenardiers, one of the two kids was a secret that they hoped no one would ever discover. Eponine Thenardier was in fact not a Thenardier, but a Parker. The Thenardiers told her that as kind as they were, they took her in after her parents died in an airplane crash. In reality, her parents had been brutally murdered by Javertdemort, a dark wizard. The Thenardiers didn't care for the magic nonsense that Cressida's sister, Lillian, and her husband, Jeremy, had been a part of, and hoped that Eponine would never find out about it. In public, Cressida and Achan treated Eponine like a princess, faces sporting Cheshire grins. At home, the pair treated Eponine as nothing more than a gamin, instead choosing to direct all their love to Gavin.

Gavin was a miniature carbon copy of his father save for his hair and height. Gavin's jet black hair sat atop his ears, and almost covered his eyes. One would instantly peg him, with his large nose, beady eyes, and mischievous smile, as a troublemaker. He took more after his mother in terms of size, as he was almost as tall as his father, and just as wide.

Eponine, unlike anyone else in her household, had a slight figure. She was small for her age, and was often mistaken as an eight or nine year old. Her soft blue eyes radiated sadness, almost like a begging puppy. Her wavy dark-brown hair was usually messy and unkempt, as she did not have the luxury of using the shower for extended periods of time. If she spent more than five minutes in the shower, regardless if she was washing her hair, Cressida would either turn off the hot water or turn off the water altogether. Eponine had mastered the art of quick showering, but that usually left her hair in a messy ponytail. She had never tried to style or straighten her hair, as she didn't know how to, and didn't possess the means to do so. Eponine had learned to avoid as much interaction with the rest of the Thenardiers possible, choosing instead to stay in her small, cramped room, and reread a book she had found lying around, some obscure French novel by the name of " _Les Miserables_ ", that she had probably read over a dozen times. Life was not particularly enjoyable for Eponine, but it was bearable.

On Gavin's twelfth birthday, April 20th, the entire house was awake by seven in the morning, courtesy of Gavin's running around the house and screaming at the top of his lungs.

"MOM! DAD! MOM! DAD! GET UP! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!" Gavin shouted as he jumped up and down on the Thenardier's bed.

"Morning s–" the Thenardiers began in unison.

"WHERE ARE MY PRESENTS?! WHERE ARE THEY? WHERE! MOM! GET UP! DAD!" Gavin continued to shout as he began pulling on the covers. The Thenardiers sat up, grumbling, and rubbed their eyes.

"They're downstairs honey," Cressida began before Gavin hopped off the bed and dashed downstairs to a room piled nearly ceiling-high with presents. He squealed with joy as he eyed the mountain of gifts. Stepping from side to side, he examined the load of presents he had managed to pull in. After a few moments, he frowned. He ran upstairs to his parent's room and proceeded to ask

"How much did you spend on my presents this year?! The number of presents downstairs seems fewer than last year. I will not stand for this! I should be getting more expensive stuff each year!" The Thenardiers sighed as Achan replied:

"Son, we spent over twenty thousand dollars this year, stop bothering us, ok? We'll make you something special for breakfast."

"How much did you spend _exactly_?" Gavin demanded.

"Um… let me see… well we got that thing, which was *indistinct mumbling*. Oh right! We also got _that_ thing! *more indistinct mumbling* Well, I think in total your mother and I spent twenty-four thousand five-hundred dollars this year." Achan responded, proudly.

"What? Only that much?! But – but – but… last year you spent twenty-four thousand five hundred fifty dollars! This year can't be worse!" Gavin answered. He began slamming his fists on the bed while demanding "why" from his parents.

"You know what, for my little tyke, I'll make your twelfth birthday very special. We'll go to the arcade. I'll even give you a hundred and one dollars to spend! How does that sound?" Cressida said, hoping that the offer would get her son to be quiet for a few minutes. Gavin scratched his head and looked up at the ceiling while he tried to add the amount of money his parents were going to spend on him to the amount of money they had already spent.

"That's a total of twenty-four thousand –" Gavin paused, appearing confused. For him, math was the least of his worries. He only worried about spending a lot of his parent's money. He didn't care about exactly how much he spent, except when it came to birthdays, of course.

"That's a total of twenty-four thousand six hundred and one dollars. That's fifty-one dollars more than last year," Achan kindly finished. A smile broke out on Gavin's face, and he began jumping up and down on the bed again.

Eponine had already been awake well before Gavin's antics began. She liked to wake up before any of the Thenardiers because she was able to go about the house without anyone yelling at her. If Eponine were Cinderella, Cressida, Achan and Gavin were her evil step-sisters. She dreaded every moment that they were awake, for all they did was insult and bully her. Often, Eponine wished for unfortunate things to happen to her housemates. Strangely enough, bizarre things tended to happen when Eponine was around. One time, when Eponine was in second grade and Gavin was in third grade, the two siblings were swinging next to each other. Gavin teased Eponine that he could go higher than she, and he began kicking his legs harder and harder in an attempt to swing higher and higher. Eponine glared at him while he swung, with his tongue stuck out at her.

"I'm going to jump!" Gavin screamed into the wind as he swung to a dangerously high altitude.

"Go ahead," Eponine muttered to herself. As Gavin kicked his legs for the final swing, he loosened his hands in preparation for the dismount. The moment Gavin's body left the swing, Eponine could have sworn that everything that proceeded happened in slow-motion. She could see Gavin's eyes expand to the size of watermelons as his body tilted forward. She heard the loud thump from the impact of face hitting mulch. She heard Gavin let out an ugly cry as he stood up, covered in mulch from head to toe. She snickered to herself as Gavin continued to cry for his parents.

Another time, Eponine was being chased by Gavin and his posse at school. As she darted away from the large group, she found herself on top of the school roof, unsure of how she got there. Even though she was suspended for "exploring forbidden parts" of the school, Eponine felt victorious, as she had managed to avoid Gavin's gang.

In many other cases, Eponine found odd things happening around her. She often found that bad things happened to those who she wished bad luck upon. She also found herself doing things unexplainable by nature, like randomly teleporting or slowing down time (though that may have been purely psychological).

As the Thenardiers got into the BMW with Gavin and Eponine in the backseat, Eponine stared out of the window at the sky, wondering what strange things could happen that day.

 **A/N:** 50-52. If you don't get it, reread les mis (jk). I tried to "set the scene" but ended up naming a bunch of cars. I'm not a car-enthusiast, so don't kill me if I get prices or names or whatnot wrong. The house is red and black because obvious reasons. "Jean-pants" and "Colette" are my abysmal attempts at being funny, so feel free to laugh at my lack of creativity. If you drive a Dodge Taurus, please don't be offended, it's the first car that came to mind. I googled random names and apparently "Achan" means "trouble" in some foreign language. So yay. The people I imagine as the characters in my stories are as follows: The Thenardiers (parents) are the two people from the tenth anniversary musical (don't know their names, sorry). Eponine is Samantha Barks (obviously). Valjean is Ramin Karimloo (obviously). Cosette is idc who because I don't like her at all. "HP Morgan" is "JP Morgan" with "HP" because Harry Potter. Wee. I'm obviously making up the Forbes stuff because I have no idea what I'm writing. I have no idea who is actually "influential", so I named two tech (Microsoft and google) people and our president, because why not? "Cressida" sounded like an evil name so I used it for Mme Thenardier. "Vermon" is supposed to be a play on "Vernon" and "Vermin". (Laugh, please?) I know absolutely nothing about makeup so excuse the descriptions of bad makeup. Idk what is "good" or "bad". Excuse my terrible analogies. Idek where they come from. Gavin is supposed to be Gavroche, but I love Gavroche, so I couldn't make the Dudley-equivalent named Gavroche. Originality. Woo. Evidently "Javertdemort" is not very original, but it's all I could think of. "Lillian" is a not-so-clever-manipulation of "Lily". I'll stop rambling now.


End file.
